#TalkTheTruth: Why did I get married?

At this time, on this day, seven years ago I was just waking up. My stomach had butterflies and my palms were sweating uncontrollably. If I didn’t know any better, I would say I was very nervous about something. I was nervous because in just a few short hours, I was getting married. Truchio Powell was actually getting married. WOW. I always knew I would get married but I never knew the day would come and fall on 4^th July 2010. Given its our seventh year anniversary, I thought I’d write about my experiences of both preparing for marriage and being married. What a journey it’s been.

I met my wife in the year 2000 and we have been together just shy of 17 years. It will be fair to say when we first met, we couldn’t stand each other. We were opposites in many ways, which was the cause of our daily arguments. She would say its black and I would say it was white. She would say go left and I would say go right. She will say its up and I will say… well you get my drift. Point is we couldn’t agree about anything. However, despite our clear differences for some reason unbeknown to both of us, we started to catch feelings. Feelings that would later develop in what we have today. Feelings that were the foundation of 17 wonderful years and counting. At that age we were carefree. We spoke regularly on the phone and practically spent every day together. After months of sneaking around and speculation we decided to tell all our family friends that it was official. In true Tara and Tru fashion, we did this by dressing in the same attire; his & hers. I think today we call it ‘twinning’. The Levis twisted double denim was the fashion then and we knew if we wore the same clothes it would silence any speculation once and for all.

Fast forward 8.5 years later I decided to ask the big question. At this stage we had already been through a great deal together. We had lived together, been on holiday together but most notably to us went through two miscarriages together. As a relatively young couple it was very difficult to manage a relationship that went under so much strain but it’s amazing how such a loss can bring two people closer together. It took a lot of prayer and communication in order for us to come through it but through Gods grace, we did together.

Proposing was no easy task. It will be fair to say that Tara was ready before I was and at every given opportunity I heard about it. If I didn’t see hints here and there about marriage, I was reminded by one of her many friends that she was waiting patiently. It didn’t help that Beyoncé’s song; ‘Single Ladies’ was still climbing the charts at that time – thanks Bey. Anyway, despite all the hints, I wanted to wait until I knew I was ready. One night we were both lying in bed and I felt compelled to ask her. No ring, no one knee, no gimmicks. Just the question. Not the most romantic of proposals but, in that moment, at that time it hit me that not only did I want Tara to be my wife but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. After the excitement, Tara being Tara demanded a proper proposal and in fairness it was nothing that she didn’t deserve. So when Valentines Day came around, I surprised my baby with a romantic weekend getaway to Rome and did it there with all the gimmicks. It was now public and it was out there and there was no going back.

It sounds like a cliché but the wedding day was one of the best days of my life. So much so I cried, yes I said it. I cried living eye water. BMT. I cried because in that moment I had everything I dreamed of and more. It was just perfect for us. On this day, seven years ago we vowed that we would always be there for one another, in sickness and in health till death do us part. Those vows mean a great deal to me to this day and are something I plan to uphold until my time on this earth is up.

Being married comes with a plethora of challenges. Like many couples we argue and have disagreements but its our communication, prayer, love and respect for one another that excludes from 42% divorce statistic.

I love my wife dearly and I thank the Lord for seven wonderful years of marriage and 17 blissful years in a relationship. If I would’ve stopped and listened to my rationale in the earlier stages, we probably wouldn’t be here now and I probably wouldn’t be here writing this article. My rationale told me ‘don’t get into a relationship with this girl because all you do is argue’. It also told me ‘don’t marry this woman, you’re not ready. You need to complete your life goals first’ It also told me ‘you’re already one part of a complete duo, this is going to complicate things’. However, instead of listening to my rationale, which I often do, on this rare occasion I listened to my heart.

Being married is the most wonderful thing in the world. To have someone that totally gets you is an amazing feeling. To have that constant support is truly a blessing. To always have an ear to bend and a shoulder to lean on is something I don not take for granted. What’s more to have that in my best friend words simply can’t describe the joy I have. She is the reason for my being. I wake up to be with her and I live so I can die with her (lyrics courtesy of Beyoncé – works to my advantage this time around!) I honestly couldn’t imagine life without my ride or die, my laughter, my left hand (P’s always been my right hand), my smile, my joy, my security and my love. God has truly blessed this union and we wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for his grace and provision. So, today we proudly stand as husband of wife of seven years (relationship 17 years) with four beautiful children and I honestly couldn’t be happier. You complete me in so many ways and I am humbled that you chose me to grow old with.

Happy Anniversary baby.